不

是啊，又是一篇华文篇。本来应该忙着做功课，可是实在压抑不了我的情绪，所以就来这发泄一番吧。实在不晓得我本来就是这样,还是最近开始我超眼浅的. 我已经到了那种明明吃着东西,明明只是坐着发呆,明明只是做些东西,我都可以突然眼泪想流的境界.我真的不明白为什么会这样. 其实我真的不懂是什么令我这样.我就....突然想哭. 我真的不知道我在写什么了.我真的不懂. 是因为我得不到我要的东西吗,是因为我一次又一次的失败吗,是因为到处都有你的痕迹我面对不了吗? 我很想快乐，可是我不快乐。我找不回那种快乐。我找不回第一次买到电话的快乐，我找不回第一次得到IPAD的快乐，我找不回第一次买到相机的快乐，我找不回和朋友见面的快乐，我找不回和朋友聊天的快乐，我找不回我终于会驾车的快乐，我找不回当初的快乐。是我变了吗？我真得不懂我是怎么了。只感觉自己很堕落，只感觉在人面前就笑，自己一个人就忍不住想哭。没有意义了。为什么我感觉曾经一起做的东西，现在我一个人做，没意义了，就真的没意义了。我感觉自己越来越放不开了。时间越久，我越是觉得自己能吗，其实自己适合吗？有时我真的不是要拿自己和人比较，只是当他们在时，我真的变得好没信心，我真的做不好。我不是要怪谁，我知道只能怪我自己。可是我真的不知道，我真的不知道为什么我会变成这样。我真的没有一点好，就只会哭。在人面前跌倒，我就自己站起来。当我一个人跌倒，我就哭了一大轮才舍得站起来，站起来时又是自己一个人哭。我以为我很潇洒，原来一点都不。我以为自己很乐观，原来深低处一直没信心。我以为自己拿得起放得下，原来一直都放不下。我以为自己安慰自己，自己鼓励自己就没事了，原来不是的。我是习惯一个人啃，我是习惯一个人背，可是原来我会累的，原来我真的会累的。我以为自己可以掌控情绪，可是原来一直都是情绪在掌控我。我以为我找东西填满时间就可以麻醉自己，可是原来我麻醉不了。我以为多和其他人一起可以让我暂时忘记伤心的事，可是原来到最后我还是要一个人面对。我以为我变得勇敢了，可是原来我一点都不勇敢。我累了，我累了要一直压抑着，我累了要一直想起伤痛的回忆。我累了要一直想人家怎么想我。我累了要一直在乎别人的眼光。我真的累了。我不知道这次自己要怎样爬回起来。感觉自己掉在一个深坑，抬头看是看到有出口，可是无论我再怎么喊，原来都没人听到，原来都没人救我一把。我真的受不了。受不了自己的脑一直想，受不了我的心一直痛。我真的不懂该怎么办。这样的我会持续到几时。想倾诉但我开不了口，也不懂自己在想什么。想有个依靠，可是不一样了没意义了。几时才会流完所有的眼泪，几时才会承受完所有的痛。感觉自己很傻很蠢。我不知道我还在执着什么，我不知道我还在期盼什么。我要什么时候才能明白失去了就回不来了？我真的好累，好累。我一点都不快乐，不快乐。

有一个地方 只有我们知道

13/2/2015 ; Friday

今天这篇还是会用华语。是有原因的，因为会很感性哈哈！话说情人节前夕，也不知道自己哪来的胆和勇气，就自己一个人冲上戏院买票，对哟我是真的冲上去哦，冲到我都快喘死了，就进去看了一场戏。还真是第一次，人生第一次自己一个人到电影院看戏。看来我是有点长大了。没人陪，但想要看，那就自己看啊。一开始还挺孤单的，就只好让自己慢慢地投入戏中。一个人看的电影是“有一个地方只有我们知道”。讽刺咧，一个人看爱情电影。不过挺好的，至少哭也没人懂哈哈哈。说回这部戏吧，我不大会影评呢。这戏不会说很很很很好看，但也不会很烂。我就只说说我从这部戏得到了什么吧！

首先首先我想说Dr Novac和兰心很简单的爱情，却感动到了我。感动我的是他真的遵守了他的诺言。他说他会等她，会在那里等她，他还真的就一直每天都在那里等她，日复一日，年复一年，等到自己老去，还在等，一直等到自己离开这个世界。感动可是想想，现在这个世界还会有这样的人吗，还会有人真的遵守自己对爱的人许下的承诺吗？我没资格说什么，因为我猜我自己也有没遵守到的诺言。更心痛的是，当你知道曾经对你许下承诺的人，现在已经完全忘记了。虽然兰心和 Dr Novac 没在一起，但是我觉得兰心是幸福的。因为至少她一直在想念的人，也在想着她，从来都没忘过她。是不是幸福过一厢情愿咧哈哈。

再来一句我觉得很有意思的，是兰心老时对她孙女金天说的。

“爱情是盆开水，总会凉下来的，将来无论你们关系走到哪一步，都不要变成仇人，让这盆水结冰。”

对，人们总说爱的反面就是恨，爱到了尽头就会变成恨。

我自己对这句话的了解是，爱情一开始是开水，那么就是热恋，很激情很 passionate， 可是爱情总会慢慢变得淡些，比较平凡些，那就是凉了的水。那么当最后水结冰了，就是爱人变成了仇人。那我思考了下，自己做出了个结论，当变成冰水时，要么你待它慢慢溶掉，要么你就狠狠地打破那冰。慢慢溶掉的意思就是你让时间慢慢冲淡，而你狠狠地打破那冰，那就代表最终双方都会受伤，一切都破碎了。可是你别忘记冰被打碎后还会融成水。其实到头来还不是一句，时间可以冲淡一切。当然我不希望看到哪对恋人最后结冰哦！

金天还说了一句 “如果我身边的人始终要离开我，我宁愿一辈子都没有拥有过....”

一开始我是超赞同这句话的。因为回忆很痛，失去更痛。猜你也听过一句当你在拥有的同时，你也在失去着。王菲也唱过，相聚离开都有时候，没有什么是永垂不朽。可是转个角度想，你真的宁愿什么都没拥有过,也不要至少你曾经有美好的回忆吗？我知道再美好再甜蜜的回忆，到一天那回忆里的人不在了，离开你了，你再回忆起时，一定很不是滋味，一定很痛，你一定很想狠狠的把它们都给忘了。可是你要记得，至少那一刻你是开心的，你是幸福的，那就够了。相信我，总有一天，你会以你那些曾经很美好而现在很痛的回忆感到骄傲。因为总有一天，你会熬过的。就像金天到最后遇到了泽阳。当然我知道这是电影，可能真实生活就难多了哈哈哈哈哈。可是只要我们活着，我们就会有希望，不是吗？(: 哎哟，怎么觉得自己作一大篇好像在安慰自己。

好吧，说完深奥的，说说轻松点的！吴亦凡也就是戏中的泽阳拉大提琴时超帅的！还有当他跟金天表白时也超可爱的！

『泽阳 ：我不知道能给你什么样的生活，可是如果你愿意留下来...我会做饭，我还比较会照顾人，我能养活我自己，也许，我也可以养你，虽然我不知道将来要做什么，可是如果你愿意...

金天 ：讨厌讨厌真的讨厌死了，你就只会煮鸡蛋，炒鸡蛋，蒸鸡蛋，煎鸡蛋，噢，对了，还有炸鸡蛋... 』

哈哈有没有很可爱，如果是我我都融化了嘻嘻嘻。

话说看完这部戏，戏竟然叫我们现在给身边的人一个拥抱，我尴尬死了。因为就我自己一个人来看啊哈哈哈！不过最后一句也挺有意思的。

“ 我们都以为永远会很远，其实它可能短暂得连我们都看不见。”

说得好，所以真的真的真的请记得要好好珍惜你身边的人。:') 我就是一个永远都是失去时才懂得要去珍惜的人。不要像我那样，唉。

最后最后，我没后悔那么即兴自己看了这场电影。我真的很喜欢看一部可以启发我的电影。好想看部会感动到我哭得不像人的电影！

啊，还有，妮妮超萌的！❤

我不难过

又站在你家的门口我们重复沉默

这样子单方面的守候 还能多久

终于你开口向我述说她有多温柔

虽然你还握着我的手 但我已不在你心中

我真的懂 你不是喜新厌旧

是我 没有 陪在你身边当你寂寞的时候

别再看着我说着你爱过 别太伤痛

我不难过 这不算什么

只是为什么眼泪会流我也不懂

就让我走 让我开始享受自由

回忆很多 你的影子也会充满我生活

我并不懦弱 你比谁都懂

虽然寂寞 这会是我 最后的宽容

终于你开口向我述说她有多温柔

虽然你还握着我的手 但我已不在你心中

我真的懂 你不是喜新厌旧

是我 没有 陪在你身边当你寂寞时候

别再看着我说你爱过 别太伤痛

我不难过 这不算什么

只是为什么眼泪会流我也不懂

就让我走 让我开始享受自由

回忆很多 你的影子也会充满我生活

我并不不懦弱 你比谁都懂

虽然寂寞 这会是我 最后的宽容

抱紧我 再抱紧我

这一份感动 请你让我留在胸口

别再说 是你的错

爱到了尽头 是非对错

就让它随风 忘了所有 过得比你快活

真的懂 你不是喜新厌旧

是我 没有陪在你身边当你寂寞时候

别再看着我说着你爱过 别太伤痛

我不难过 这不算什么

只是为什么眼泪会流我也不懂

不要再说

或许这是最好的结果

现在分手 总好过你不爱我一拖再拖

松开你的手 离开你左右

我向前走 这会是我 真正的解脱

勾由自取的告别

你的好人好伤人

你以为婉转很好

却不知道那样

又让我一瞬间有希望

不明白你给什么假希望

如果下定决心

那天最后相遇 就不要对我那样

宁愿你狠心

也不要虚伪的面对你所谓的好

怎么结果跟当初一样

不同的是

你不再给我机会

为何当初那么傻

介入又原谅

你说什么头脑不清晰

他妈的我还真相信

结果换来了

一个可能一世都拔不了的刺

如今我的厚脸皮 我的低头

却换不了你一丝的相信

说好不再让自己受伤

怎么就完成不了渺小的承诺

跌了一次又一次

最后才发觉

心里还是那句

你把我当什么

原来从头到尾都是个错

预感还是那么准

能怪谁 只能怪自己愿意跳入那坑

头破血流了 又能怪谁

我不怪你 那是假的

我没那么大方

怪你也怪我自己

你以为那么容易

说做就做 说做就真的可以做

不 可 以

你容易 我也说得容易

但你不懂 我不能一辈子自欺欺人

这把刀子刺痛了我 痛得干脆又利落

我没那么坚强 可是习惯了坚强

倒了没人扶 伤了没人疼

痛了没人管 死了没人问

尽管多么挣扎 尽管多么痛苦

我 仍会博取那一丝氧气。

我相信你会幸福

我也不再厚脸皮 不再阻止你幸福

谢谢你留了 这么多东西回忆给我

但现在他们就像一把把飞来的刀

躺着不动也中刀

谢谢你对我的好

可是那些好也治不了 我现在的不好

愿那些点点滴滴

那些回忆和曾经

随着时间一点一点的流逝

不保留 也不愿回味。

2014 Tang Yuan

30.12.2014 ; Tuesday

Winter Solstice is over but it's never too late for Tang Yuan right? We actually had packaged Tang Yuan on the 22th but we still wanna make it ourselves so yeaaaaa. I am really very Chinese lah. I get very excited whenever it's a Traditional Chinese Festival including Winter Solstice!

Happy Winter Solstice ! 冬至快乐!

Had fun making these balls with sis while mom sitting beside us and PLAYING PHONE last last night.

What had technology done to my mom hahaha.

We were like exchanging roles, daughters do stuff while mom plays phone omg.

Love the colours, Spot my taro ball! 

Mom prepared the soup and I cook it today.

I'm so touched that they turned out well.

Tbh our tang yuan always look ugly, no joke!

That's why I must blog them to celebrate ehehe.

Yep, we added peanut inside but abit tasteless tho.

Lesson learnt, I'm sure next year our tang yuan will improve again!

Hooohooooooo time to eat all da balls and write another post.

Ciaoz!

p/s : Gonna update more time scheduled posts soooooooon. Ready for the spam! 

Lady finger X Spaghetti?

30.9.2014 ; Tuesday

Lunch with friends at Fuwa-Fuwa today during our break. Not a good meal because the food I ordered is extremely salty. Furthermore, another friend of mine ordered the same thing but hers and mine are so big difference. Reflected this matter to the manager (I think). But whatever, I don't think I am going to have spaghetti here anymore. Maybe other food....

Didn't know this is considered as watery until I saw my friend's plate.

Took a little piece of lady finger from my friend's mixed rice.

 I wonder why there is no one ever mix in lady finger to spaghetti.

Maybe it's not western?

I think we can try eating lady finger with spaghetti.

Who knows they really make good combo!

Perhaps a Malaysia style spaghetti?

Sounds good though.

I think we all need to try something new and 

Forget what was done before.

Another Way of Eating Roasted Cuttlefish

 29.9.2014 ; Monday

I like this snack since I am small. Err roasted cuttlefish? Hard to chew but still I laphhh it! Okok it's like every food I mentioned is my fav food. Yuppp I like most of the food cuz I am not a picky eater teeeheeee,

How do we eat this besides just stuffing it into your mouth?

 YESH ROJAK YESH.

Dip it into Rojak sauce!

Boring? Let's make a wrap then!

Place a cucumber on top, you can just eat it like that

OR

Add some Rojak sauce on it!

Hmmmm feel so refreshing when biting into the cucumber.

It's nice that once I tried eating in this way, my mother immediately follow me haha.

Besides cucumber, I tried with jicama too!

Seriously, I think I fell in love eating roasted cuttlefish with Rojak sauce.

I want more! Definitely stocking up this snack for more rojak session. 

Taaadaaaa a new way of eating Rojak. 

Rojak sauce is just like tomato sauce, chili sauce etc.

We can always choose to dip whatever into it!

Be Free.

Banana Cake Has Expression Too

28.9.2014 ; Sunday

Ever since I knew how to bake banana cake, I never eat banana cake from outside anymore. The taste is so different. You can really taste the difference between homemade banana cake and the one from outside. So big difference! All you can taste when you have banana cake outside is the taste of baking essence. Ughhh, totally ban that from my food list. One more thing is my mom really like this. (: 

Progressing.............

Never thought it will turn out like that HAHA.

Look at that face, that angry face.

>:( 

The cake is like telling me 

" HOW DARE YOU LET ME STAY IN THE HOT OVEN 

FOR FREAKING XX MINUTES?! "

Nevertheless, the product is good. 

Still can't get over the angry face.

I'm sorry lah, my dear banana cake.

I eat you and go swim in my stomach ok?

Be silly.

Cheese Tart Inspired

27.9.2014 ; Saturday

I am always a cheese lover. Feeling extremely happy when I found a piece.....err I mean half a piece of cheese tart in the fridge this morning. I always feel happy when I find something I like unexpectedly when I open the fridge. It's like SURPRISEEEEEEE HERE YOUR FAV FOOD!!! Mmhmmm here my breakfast of the day.

The half piece of cheese tart hahaha.

*Remember this original position k*

Turn it around, see it from different angle and boooom!

Guess what came into my mind?

IT'S A COUCH!!!!

Get it get it?

The crust is like the frame of the couch.

The centre cheese part (with line) is like the soft cushion. 

Not sure if you can imagine it so I google a quite-similar-but-not-so-similar photo :

I wonder if people will design a cheese tart inspired couch.

Imagine you are sitting on a "cheese tart", awww that will be cute! 

Who says couch must be in the traditional couch look?

Break the rules.

Imagination on Pretzel

26.9.2014 ; Friday

Pretzel Pretzel. First try on the sour cream flavor of Aunty Anne's. It's been so long since I last ate this. Not sure about others but sometimes one piece of this is enough for a meal to me. Ha! Or maybe I am just not so hungry when I eat this? Blahhhh.

The pretzel looks like a pair of "Q".

I wonder why there are two big holes.

(Google it!)

Are we supposed to place our hands into it like we are handcuffed?

Ha, imagine everyone eating pretzel like this. 

However, you have to start from the bottom part to avoid the whole 

piece of pretzel from falling.

Hmmm, much troublesome.

OR

Imagine that we call the left circle as A and right circle as B.

We can just put one hand into A. For example, we put in left hand.

So we can start by eating the B part. 

While eating, our right hand can still do things!

Amazing?

Better idea than the previous huh?!

Funny, thanks for bearing with my nonsense.

That is so damn impossible but why not?

Our imagination need to exercise sometimes.

Be illogical.

Silly Thought on Croissant

25.9.2014 ; Thursday

Make myself a cup of hot milo and reheat a  piece of croissant for my breakfast. Breakfast is so important to me and I really can't live without breakfast. Cuz I get really hungry in the morning. My tummy is like shouting WHERE IS MY FOOD at me.

Croissant is so nice especially when you eat while it's hot.

Mmmhmmm mashisoyo! (Delicious in Korean)

By looking at this croissant, I can't help but feel like drawing on the white space of the plate

Yeshh, the white space right below the croissant.

I feel like drawing eyes, nose, mouth and perhaps a pair of shades on it.

The croissant just fit perfectly as the character's hair.

Haaaa!

Not really similar but somehow this croissant reminds me of Kuzco 

from the Emperor's New Groove cartoon.

Kuzco with croissant on head? 

HAHAHAHAHA.

Kinda lame but his face really appear in my mind when I see this croissant!!!

Whatever ~

Be silly. 

How to eat ice cream?

24.9.2014 ; Wednesday 

Omnomnomnom bought Frosty Cone from Wendy's today. I think it's the cheapest ice cream I can find around Jaya One soooooo why not? I always go for it whenever I am craving for ice cream in college. Yuppp RM1 to satisfy my craving! Here comes the WanLing's way to eat ice cream.

Original look of Frosty Cone.

Start licking and try to remain the top standing part.

When it started to become "skinny" means the standing part couldn't stand again,

 lick them till as flat as a pancake!

Do you know why I would always keep pushing the ice cream downwards?

Taaadaaaaa! So that when I reach the lowest part of cone, 

I will still have ice cream! Yummmmmm.

Yea, I am 18 years old and I still enjoy eating ice cream like that. 

You can't choose how thing works all the time but you can always choose to eat ice cream in your own childish way! Mmmhmmm pure happiness! 

Be a child. 

He is gone

Heartbreaking day indeed. Started the morning with tears. Think on the bright side, he can now stop all the pain, no need to suffer anymore. I hate myself for not spending more time with you. I wish I could've talk to you more. I hate myself for couldn't see you for the one last time. Don't worry, I won't forget all the memories. How I used to sit between you and her on the motorcycle every Sunday. How I used to join you and your friends for morning yumcha session, eating pau beside you. Haha you must be shocked how I can remember these things so well. I never forget. Those were my precious memories. The way you talk, the way you always ask me to visit my kindergarten teacher. The way you eat, you always eat in fast speed before you had to suffer.
You might already forger who am I, but I won't and I will never ever forget you. Gong, close your eyes and rest well now. Ah Mei loves you.
#21.8.2014

Life? Life.

Aloha peeepaaaa! How's life? I was sooo busy since I started my college but hey heyyy I am on Raya break now! Gotta prepare for exam then yayyy I am done with my first semester! 

Hmm... thinking of what to blog for this post. Ahh, I have to say there were a lot of bad thing happened recently. Plane tragedies, Uncle Danny (my dad's friend) and two teachers just passed away. :'( R.I.P and strong, people. My thoughts and prayers are with you. *sigh* 

I attended Uncle Danny's funeral. I really couldn't accept the fact that he just gone like that.. Few weeks before, he just held an open house party and few weeks later......  ;( Sitting there and I heard an uncle was telling some stories between him and Uncle Danny. Telling.. telling and his eyes became red, tears rolled down his cheeks. Such heartbreaking to see. Imagine if one day I lost a friend....... uhhhhh *touch wood* I can still remember his face, when we bumped into him etc although I am not close to him personally. Uncle Danny, you will be missed. 

Another sad news from my friend few days ago, Encik Tan's wife passed away. She doesn't know me but I can still remember her face. I still remember she always came to our school and helped out Buddhist Club for their food stall. I still remember she came during BACOP, brought along her camera and a bright smile on her face. I can never forget her smile because somehow it tells me that she is a very kind teacher (and yea, she really is). May you rest in peace, teacher. It must be tough for Encik Tan. Take care teacher, my deepest condolences to your loss...

Just got another news when I was scrolling my Facebook feeds this morning, a BM teacher from my high school had just passed away. I was really shocked to know this. She never taught me before, but still the same, I can still remember her face, her smile.. She is always smilling in my memory...Felt so sad reading my high schoolmates' statuses. Puan Rossidah, may you rest in peace.

What a 2014.. Life is so unpredictable. We don't know what's going to happen next. One second you are fine, and the next second you might just leave the world like that. Life is so short and it is so fragile. What we can do is live life to the fullest, count your blessings. Don't take things for granted, appreciate and cherish every single one person around us. Be grateful and positive. Take care, guys. Guess I'll just stop here.

25.7.2014 ; Friday

Stay strong, gong. I don't want to lose you...

DIY Food : Nutella Ice Pops

Taaadaaa come back with a DIY food post. So I went shopping at Ikea with mom. Just thought of buying things for new house but I ended up discover something cute.

IT'S ICE POP MOULD!

Aren't they looking cute and fun?

 I had seen many photos on internet about making ice pops by using this mould so I persuaded mom to get this home teeheee. Came back home and can't wait to start making something yummmmmm! (also to prove it's not waste of money)

Are you a fan of Nutella? Have you ever thought of turning it into another food instead of just spreading it on your bread? I am telling you, YESHHH WE CAN MAKE NUTELLA ICE CREAM BY OUR OWN! It's really simple!

All the ingredients you will need are just Nutella and full cream milk.

1 cup of full cream milk and 1/3 cup of Nutella

Blend them together until thoroughly combined.

Pour into your ice pop mould and freeze for 2 or 3 hours.

Lastly, ready to enjoy your happiness!

THAT'S IT!

Simple right? I feel like a kid while doing it hahaha.

*drum rolls* 

Introduce you to my homemade Nutelle ice pop!

It tastes incredibly good and I'm sure Nutella fans will surely love it!

It's really simple and even lazy people like me will definitely try making many other flavors of ice pops! Such a happy kid on earth.

Chocolate Brownies #1

Since I am so free now, I will keep my blog updating. Oops, I think I had said this so so many times but my blog still dead hahaha. Huuhuu my passion is back ok!

Happy Friday! Decided to bake something because I am craving for sweet treats + my mom won't stop asking me to bake. Anyway, I baked chocolate brownies and wanna share recipe to you all! It's really easy, difficulty is only ★★★ according to the recipe book. :D

What we need :

Dark Chocolate 120g

2 eggs (room temperature)

Brown sugar 120g

Melted butter 90g

Salt 1/4 tsp

Flour 60g

Chopped walnuts 1/2 cup

Vanilla essence 1/2 tsp

Fyi, I never add vanilla essence or any essence whenever I bake. Because I don't think it's necessary haha. Of course you may add them, it will enhance the flavor and aroma of the cake I guess.

Here are the steps : 

1) Finely chop the dark chocolate. Melt over a pot of simmering water.

2) In another bowl, beat eggs and brown sugar with an electric mixer for about 8 minutes until thick.

3) Pour the melted chocolate into the egg mixture. Add melted butter and stir well.Sift in flour, salt and add vanilla essence. Mix again. lastly add walnuts and stir well.

4) Pour the butter into the baking tray (20-cm square tray) lined with baking paper.Bake in a preheated oven at 180°C for about 40 minutes. Leave it to cool and cut into pieces.

Optionally, sprinkle with icing sugar and serve!

*** Recipe from "100 Desserts" by Winnie Chu ***

It had been a long time since I last baked this so I had forgotten about the thickness. I was worrying when I sent it to the oven. Wondering why is my cake so thin?! Luckily it turned out well. 

Yummmm. The tops two photos are my Brownies Tower and Brownies Castle. Lame I know ~
 The only sad thing is I HAVE NO ICE CREAM IN MY FRIDGE. 

Oh no how can it be.

Ice cream + Brownies = Perfection !!

It's ok, I'll just eat it and drink my milk hahaha. Ciao!

9.5.2014 ; Friday

The end of SPM, the end of High School

After Pangkor trip, it was Hari Anugerah Cemerlang at my high school. Great great I have to go back school with my charcoal skin and dark dark eye circles. Eh no you can't see my eye circles since my skin colour became as dark as that. Ok not funny hehehe. It's all because I slept really really late or shall I just say I slept early cuz it was like 3 or 4am!

Get back to the topic. I would say it was a dream came true day for me. When I was form 4, we were just like the students now, sitting on the assembly ground, watching ex-seniors came back to receive awards from the VIP guests, putting my hands together for them. That motivated me. I made a promise to myself back then. I want to come back as a award receiver just like them. YOLO right, if I miss it, I'll have no another chance. Erm it was counted as a little motivation for me to study hard. BUT YOU KNOW I AM STILL LAZY ANYWAY.

Quite surprised when I got my result actually because I didn't really expect high. Yup I am afraid of too much disappointments. It was not the best result but I'm still grateful although I will still regret whenever my mom brought this up. Nah nah nah nah forget it! I'm still happy because I had the chance to attend this day! Ngam ngam hou for the minimum requirement, I would say I'm lucky hehehe.

Just wanna note this down,

HEY YOU LITTLE GIRL, I FULFILLED WHAT I HAD PROMISED. YOU MAY GO ON LIFE WITH YOUR BIGGER DREAMS NOW (: 

Overall, I would say the little motivation did worked at some point. Like when I was demotivated and had no study mood at all or when I felt like giving up, this so called little motivation striked. DING DING it did pushed me A LITTLE muahahaha *syok sendiri* K lah I just wonder if anyone out there do this childish thing too, promise yourself you will xxxxxxx to motivate you! DETERMINATION! Oh yay this is the right word. Work or not? It really depends on you, yourself! I must say IT FEELS REALLY REALLY GREAT when you finally achieve it! Ahhh ~ Fighting guys! Be determined!

I know you are bored now haha so stop blah blah and here some photos!

Just kidding, I'll still bored you with words ohohoho. Here are my lovely and precious girls ♥

Glad to have them as my victims!! *evil smile*

(Things to regret: Yihtyng couldn't make it here and Teckjia was not in!)

Don't judge these books by their covers! They dressed so smart but they are still all 38 po aka crazy girls!!!

*OOPS AM I TALKING ABOUT MYSELF TOO OOPS*

These are part of my adorable but still 38 juniorsssssss ♥

All the best girls! 

OKOK I know I know! You probably want to ask me why are all girls in those photos. 

So here's a bonus for you and to wrap this post up.

Taadaaaaa! Excuse my blur scary face!!! Blame the guys teeheeee.

Lastly, it officially marks the end of my high school and SPM candidate's life.

I am getting old oh shit.

28.4.2014 ; Monday

What I did huh?

OH HI I AM HERE !!! Okay, I have to admit that blogging mood always strike at midnight. It's almost 1am and I can't sleep. Maybe it's because of the nap I took this evening OR maybe that few sips of Nescafe I just took? Oh whatever, conclusion is I CAN'T SLEEP and...I'm hungry too hahaha. There are always many things running on my mind once I lie on my bed. Oh yea one exception. Except when I am really really super exhausted and tired hehehe. I bet you are the same, right? Well, since I have that blogging mood SO why not I make some updates on my bloggy! (Obviously I am doing it now)

So it's April 2014 now and let me summarize everything in the past few months, shall we? ARE YOU READY FOR LONG LONG BLOG POST?! Readers be like, "Aren't you just said that you are going to SUMMARIZE?!" Haha ok stop! Let's start!

After graduation, people around me started their college or even found a job to not waste time! And me? Guess what I did? Aha! I did nothing a.k.a ROTTING at home. Unbelievable! I planned to go for any short courses since last year. Obviously that failed. Kinda awkward when people question me like "Yo, what have you been doing huh?" I will always smile like an idiot and say "Nothing eh, hehehehe rotting lo." *continue smile like an idiot* Their next response will always be.......

 "HUH? You didn't work meh?" or "HUH? You not boring meh? Stay at home everyday oh." YESH, with that face!

Btw I did something meaningful also lah. Not like really everyday doing nothing at home kekeke. I am now leaning Korean language. Ha, that's one of the thing I wanted to learn so badly! So far so good, still learning some general + basic sentences and words. Problem is I am still that lazy to do revision!! Ugh lazy kid. But I'm still grateful because the classes are free and we get free textbooks! My second target after I master this will be Japanese language! Hwaiting! I have a thing for languages or perhaps I love learning new things. Hope to learn as many things as possible when I am still young. (:

Oh yea, another thing that I had been doing was researching + thinking! Yepppp, I was so confused about my future. I am afraid of making wrong decision. I don't want to regret in the future. *sobsob* But I guess I had made up my mind. I shall go for something I like and I think I found it. My dream since I was small is to study overseas. Oh well, I am afraid that I couldn't achieve it since I am not taking pre-u courses that are recognized worldwide. Hmmm.... finger cross that I will have a chance to pursue degree overseas after my diploma...... And I hope the college I've chosen will not disappoint me.....

I am starting to think that money is important... It's like everything I need everything around me are all related to money. OH WHY. Btw there's a chinese quote comes to my mind: "钱不是万能的，但没有钱就万万不能" HAHA quite true tho. I remember I saw it on Keat Ming's shirt last time if I am not mistaken. Dunno why but I am starting to feel bad for asking money from my dad. Uhh, I even feel really bad for asking him to pay my college fees. I dunno why, I just feel that I am useless sometimes. I should've studied harder and get more A+. I should've study will full scholarships. But what past is past, can't change it anyway. ): I promise to pay back everything you gave me in the future, dad and mom. (:

I guess that's all for tonight. Lastly, let me end my post with this

Good night peeeeepaaa! 

*Photos from my tumblr http://blur-tiramisu.tumblr.com and Google*


9.4.2014 ; 1:46 a.m